Not Even Half The Story

There are always things that affect you, that can actually make you think about life, about your life, so sometimes you just go pushing it to not have to face their fears.
Well, I knew that when watched the documentary "Stay Strong" was inevitable not to think about my life. Yesterday when I finally watched it, I relived some scenes from my past, and as a movie I watched from afar, but as a protagonist, I felt every memory weighing over me, I saw in Demi's mouth my words, I mean, it happens in ways different with everyone, and you never know when will start it in your life but you know it must have an end!
I remember that from childhood I was called fat, well, I even thought it was a nickname either, I got used to that. But by age 11 I began to feel the rejection for being fat, the prejudice, I think I suffered bullying, but children at that time were not so bad, so there was nothing significant, but due to some losses I became depressed. I did crazy diets, eating pretend that no one found out, and then I vomited all. I lost friends because of that, I became a boring person for never wanting to leave home and eat, who does not like food, I love, but I just had no control over it. The most interesting thing about this is that you know the consequences, but that does not stop you, because you think "no that's not a problem, I'm not throwing up blood or anything like that." Everything was under control, until one day after hours without eating I had a sequence of three fits, so my family began to force me to eat. 
Maybe I did not see this as a problem because people do not take this seriously, they think this is silly teenager stuff, which is a phase that will pass and, for some may be just a phase, but for others it may mean the last phase of their lives. You are not fighting the food, or cons people who criticize you, you are fighting against itself, against that part of you that just does not accept you, you fight the voices that constantly tell you that you have no value, voices that say you are guilty of all. As Demi said, is against inner demons. I was deep in my own pit of depression, until Someone pulled me out of there, I don't went into rehab, because Someone found me along the way and saved me from myself.

TO BE CONTINUED..




Stay Strong Documentary:
http://twitvid.com/XUA6X


http://twitvid.com/TKEJG


http://twitvid.com/YIVBP

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Nós só vivemos uma vez, então vamos ter certeza de que fazê-lo com excelência.

Bom, eu basicamente nunca sei sobre o que realmente escrever quando entro aqui, você quer atingir um publico, pessoas de diferentes idades, diferentes personalidades, então você se sente um pouco pressionado a ser culto, mas também descolado, mas a quem quero eu enganar? Se for para escrever o que outros querem ler, que tipo de aspirante á escritora eu sou?

Quando eu leio algum livro, de qualquer espécie, eu associo a personalidade do personagem ao escritor, então se eu começar a negar o que eu sou ao escrever perderei a essência do que é escrever.

Grandes escritores da historia somente foram reconhecidos como grande depois de mortos, isso porque escreviam o que pensavam numa era onde "liberdade de expressão" não existia então eles eram julgados por colocar num pedaço de papel aquilo que já não podiam mais guardar no seu peito.  Alguns foram julgados, outros até mesmo condenados, por violar a falsa moral no século passado. E hoje em pleno século 21 a escrita é considerada poluição visual, isso porque as pessoas continuam a exprimir o seu interior por meio de palavras, porem elas estão tão sujas por dentro que não tem nada de bonito para mostrar, e isso me remete a escrever sobre a vida, sobre decisões, sobre escolhas, sobre destino e sobre karma. Bom, creio que isso pode ser uma longa história que eu continuarei amanha.. espero que gostem de acompanhar esta historia juntamente comigo.

Abraços, Luana.

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We only live once, so let’s make sure we do it with excellence

Well, I basically never really know what to write when I get here, you want to reach an audience, people of different ages, different personalities, so you feel a bit pressed to be serious but also cool, but who I want to deceive? If it is to write what others want to read, what type of aspirant writer am I?

When I read a book of any kind, I associate the character's personality to the writer, so if I begin to deny what I'm when writing, I will lose the essence of which is write.
Great writers of history were only recognized as a GREAT after death, they wrote what they thought in an era where "free speech" did not exist, then they were judged for placing a piece of paper what they could no longer keep in their breast .Some were tried, others even convicted for violating the false morality in the last century. And today in the middle of 21 century, writing is regarded as visual pollution, which is why people continue to express its interior by means of words, but they are so dirty inside that does not have anything nice to show, and this brings me to write about life, about decisions, about choices, about destiny and karma. 

Well, I think this may be a long story that I will continue tomorrow. 

I hope you like to follow this story along with me. 

XOXO, Luana.

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